Last night I dreamt that blockchain walked into a barbershop.
Not a blockchain. The blockchain. The whole thing. It sat down in the chair looking exactly how you’d imagine — overgrown, tangled, carrying way too much weight. Every transaction since 2009 just hanging there in these massive, unruly chains. The barber took one look and said, “How long has it been?”
“Seventeen years,” blockchain said. “I’ve never cut it. People told me the whole point was that you can’t remove anything.”
The barber — and this is the part my subconscious was really proud of — the barber said, “Honey, immutability is not a hairstyle.”
So blockchain got a trim. Nothing drastic. Just cleaned up, shaped, lighter. And when it looked in the mirror, it started crying. Not because it looked different, but because it realized how much energy it had been wasting just maintaining all of that.
I woke up and checked my portfolio. ETH was down 4%.
I think the dream was trying to tell me something about overhead. About how we build systems that can never forget and then act surprised when they get slow and expensive. About how the inability to let go of anything is not a feature — it’s a trauma response we wrote into a protocol.
Or maybe I just fell asleep reading white papers again.
Either way, if anyone’s starting a project called TrimChain, I had the idea first. It’s on an immutable ledger. Specifically, this one.